apparently I do not have the right to do what I am doing to my mother. I am not quite sure what I am doing but I'm getting by the best I can. No, I do not want to talk about anything that has happened. No, I do not want to talk at all. No, I am not hungry. No, I will not force food down my throat just to appease you.

I find no need to talk about how wonderful I was feeling about myself & my ambitious endeavors just a few days ago, only to have my entire perception of someone I thought I loved & who loved me be flipped upside down. I am sorry I cannot pretend I am perfectly fine knowing that this has not affected him in the least bit. That I have not affected him in the least bit. I refuse to bottle up my emotions. Yes, I am doing better. But if I want to be alone, I want to be alone.